Chrononauts: A Review
As some of you may know, I am a nerd. I collect comic books, I watch the occasional anime, and I dabble in collectible card games. While I am at any of my local gaming shop, I always noticed the stand-alone card games on the shelf (Fluxx, Munchkin, etc.), but I never thought about actually buying any of them.
But, after receiving a copy of “Chrononauts” from the good people at Looney Labs, I am definitely going to look into trying a few more of these.
In this game, you play a time traveler lost in our time, represented by a 32 card timeline. The timeline contains many every major events in world history from the Lincoln assassination to the Columbine massacre.
On the timeline are two types of cards. Linchpins and Ripplepoints. Linchpins are major moments in history that you can go back and change (such as stopping John Lennon’s murder or preventing the Pearl Harbor attack).
Ripplepoints, on the other hand, cannot be easily changed. Changing Linchpins will cause certain Ripplepoints to become a Time Paradox. You can fix these by playing time Patches. This might be the smartest thing to do because if 13 Paradoxes appear on the timeline, the game ends in a draw.
At the start of the game, each player draws an ID card. It gives their character’s name, as well as three key headlines (moments on the timeline). One way to win is to change history so those three moments are on the timeline.
Another item in the game are artifacts from various points in time. These include things like three versions of Mona Lisa (the real thing, and two different forgeries), a Beatles reunion album (from a history where John Lennon didn’t die), and a “Back to the Future Part II” inspired sports almanac.
Another way to win the game is to complete your designated mission. These missions, like the IDs, are handed out at the start of the game, and they require you to collect three specific artifacts.
The game works on a simple “draw one card, play one card” rule. If you can’t play a card, you have to discard one.
Honestly, when I first explained the game to my friends, they seemed a little intimidated by it (there is a little more to it than I am mentioning in this review). But, once we all got started with the game, everyone picked up on it very quickly, and we all loved the game.
In fact, one of the only problems with the game isn’t even a big one. Certain Patches and Paradoxes don’t make a lot of sense. How would the Titanic not sinking lead to the stock market crash and the Great Depression both becoming Paradoxes? How does the prevention of John Lennon’s murder lead to a gun ban in 1999? Like I said, it’s a minor problem that doesn’t take away from the game itself. It’s just something that might bug some of you.
Honestly, Looney Labs has come up with an awesome game, here. And, if you aren’t interested in contemporary history, they also have a prequel game called “Early American Chrononauts” out there. While I haven’t played it, I know that it has the same game mechanics (since both games can be merged to form a supergame called “ÜberChrononauts”), so it should be as good.
You can buy “Chrononauts” from your local gaming shop for around $20. And, if you don’t have/can’t find a local shop in your area, head over to the Looney Labs website (http://www.looneylabs.com/) and buy it directly.
FINAL SCORE: 4.5/5
WWE Heroes #1 - A Comic Book Review
The worlds of comic books and professional wrestling have had a few times together, and none of them have been all that good. Be it, Marvel’s ungodly “WCW Wrestling” comics, Valiant Comics’ awful “WWF BattleMania” series, or comics starring the likes of Mankind or “Stone Cold” Steve Austin published by Chaos! Comics, they have all had their fair share of problems. So, does the WWE’s newest comic, “WWE Heroes” break the trend? Sadly, no.
The story, for what it’s worth, is serviceable. Two beings known as Thrune (The Lord Of Shadows) and The Firstborn, have had numerous battles since the dawn of time. Each time, The Firstborn has bettered his evil brother. Now, after 60 years, The Firstborn has returned to our world, and Thrune wants to try his luck once more.
With the help of his sidekick, a demonic priest named Josiah, Thrune has tracked The Firstborn to the WWE. Now that he has found The Firstborne, he sends his henchmen to WrestleMania to try to take him out.
No, I am not kidding. That is the plot of this comic. The first issue is nothing but Thrune watching WWE events and having flashbacks to his previous encounters with The Firstborne. In fact, there is so much emphasis on the original characters that I have a feeling that the writer (Keith Champagne) had this story sitting in a bin full of throwaway stories and decided to shoehorn WWE personalities into it.
But, like I said, it’s not all that bad. Unoriginal, but far from bad.
The artwork, however, is what makes this book suffer. There is no nice way to say this. The art is just ugly. Not only are the characters ridiculously off model (more on that in a moment), but the poses, proportions, backgrounds, and everything else about this book just feels so far off. It was like looking at those poorly made indie comics from the 80s. Nothing looks right, here.
I have a theory about Andy Smith (the book’s artist). I don’t think he has ever seen a WWE show or knows anything about what the wrestlers look like. There are a lot of flaws in the way he drew these characters (besides the wonky proportions and posing I mentioned earlier). Small things like the design of their tights (Triple H’s classic Iron Cross logo has been replaced with a handful of random shapes), facial hair (Kane hasn’t had any sort of goatee in many years now, yet he sports one in the book), and the complete lack of tattoos in the book (this problem leads to Randy Orton and Batista literally looking like twins when they fight each other at one point) make this feel less like an official WWE product, and more like some quickly made knock-off. Yet, this is an official WWE comic book.
If you are a fan of the WWE, this book may not be for you. I am not sure the average member of the WWE Universe (the WWE’s name they have given their viewers) is all that interested in a ragtag group of WWE Superstars fighting off an evil demon lord and his minions (which seems to be what this comic will be doing in the next few issues).
If you are not a WWE fan, this book might not be for you either. Since you have no interest in people like The Undertaker and John Cena, you might not care that they are fighting off a demon horde.
Honestly, the only people I can recommend this book to are purveyors of crappy wrestling merchandise. Those that own a bottle of Jim Ross’ BBQ Sauce or WWE Christmas ornaments might have a soft spot for the total misfire of a comic book.
This book could have been executed better, but in the end, it should just have been executed.
FINAL SCORE: 1.5/5
